Monday, January 30, 2012
SIGHPIE
SIGH. I don't know where else to pen down my thoughts so I had no other choice but to come here again. I don't wanna let anybody knows how shitty I'm feeling right now coz I bet they'll start to give me all sort of advices making me feel more like a nuisance to them. And honestly, no one advice is able to make me feel any better right now because I really am feeling very very very very fucking down and idk why. Just when I thought the worst is over, 2012 isn't any better. I hate 2012 as much though its just the end of a shitty month, which is like 1/12 of the year and I already can't wait to get over this fucking year. Everything seems so tough and demoralizing this fucking semester. I can't even get into a proper uni with my gpa. I don't wanna start my working life so soon. I don't know what to do after I graduate. I don't know which job to apply for. I am turning 21 this year. I dont know what thing in life is worth being happy for now. I can't help but feel like giving up on everything. WHY MUST ALL THE BAD THINGS KEEP COMING TO ME. FREE FLOW ONE MEH.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012
Warning: This is going to be a super long entry and it’s gonna take up much of your time if you ever read it.
2011 has finally come to an end. Let’s take a little time to think back and reminisce the good old times. It was pretty much a tough year and had been so overwhelming for me. I’ve lost and I’ve gained. I met new friends. I drifted with some. Whatever that I’ve gone through in 2011, good or bad have made me learnt how to cherish and become a better person.
(^) Emrs peeps: Knew you guys through school's attachment. Thanks for being part of my 2011 journey. Those good times that we had together, I'll never forget. Those times where we went KBOX together, went drinking together etc. I remember how close we all were back then.. It was a sad thing to know that we've drifted so far apart as compared to the beginning of the year. Nonetheless, xiexie ni men and wish you guys all the best! I wish we'll have more outings together again.
(^) Poly clique: Thanks for always being here for me. You guys are the reason why I attended lectures and tutorials. My poly journey wouldn't be as fun, crazy, enjoyable, retarded without you guys. Time flies and we knew each other for almost three years, soon. I'm glad that our friendship is still going strong at this point of time. I'll never forget how we mug for our entrepreneurship presentation, staying up through the night to memorise our script in 2011. I'll never forget how you guys brought me for fish spa on my birthday which scares the shit outta me. THANKS AH. I'll never forget how we drank so crazily together and made me vomit out all my duck pizza. I'll never forget how we make it a point to remember and celebrate each and every one of our birthdays throughout these three years. I thank god for you guys in my life and I hope we'll remain strong as one & don't forget our grad trip together!
*Your favourite picture*
(^) Secondary sch clique: Time really flies. We've all have known each other for at least 8 years already, from sec 1 till now. What happened to us? I can feel the distance between us. Lesser and lesser of us turn up for outings and meet ups. We were so much closer in the past. Nonetheless, I'm thankful that we're still able to meet up all together, at least once or twice in 2011. I hope we'll never lose contact with one another. You all promised to invite me to all your weddings before:)
As much as I hate 2011, it has also made me experience a lot of new things:)
First time going to clubs. First time dancing on the dancefloor. First time drinking till I got drunk. Looking back, I really enjoyed all the time spent on partying but then again, one of my 2012 resolution is to quit going to clubs. Very ironic, hahaha.
First time dyeing my hair. No more virgin hair.
*Sorry, I look very retarded here*
AND NOT FORGETTING. First time extracting my tooth :'(. SPL accompanied me there. I still remember how I felt when im about to extract my tooth. My whole body was trembling like a siao and im so afraid I would cry out in front of the dentist. It was also my first time putting on braces. No, it doesn't slim me down. Braces aren't pain at all, I can still eat like a boss weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I really hate 2011. I lost so many things. :'(
Every year, I wish for the next upcoming year to be a better one. Now, I'll just do the same and hope 2012 will be better for me:)
2011 has finally come to an end. Let’s take a little time to think back and reminisce the good old times. It was pretty much a tough year and had been so overwhelming for me. I’ve lost and I’ve gained. I met new friends. I drifted with some. Whatever that I’ve gone through in 2011, good or bad have made me learnt how to cherish and become a better person.
(^) Emrs peeps: Knew you guys through school's attachment. Thanks for being part of my 2011 journey. Those good times that we had together, I'll never forget. Those times where we went KBOX together, went drinking together etc. I remember how close we all were back then.. It was a sad thing to know that we've drifted so far apart as compared to the beginning of the year. Nonetheless, xiexie ni men and wish you guys all the best! I wish we'll have more outings together again.
(^) Poly clique: Thanks for always being here for me. You guys are the reason why I attended lectures and tutorials. My poly journey wouldn't be as fun, crazy, enjoyable, retarded without you guys. Time flies and we knew each other for almost three years, soon. I'm glad that our friendship is still going strong at this point of time. I'll never forget how we mug for our entrepreneurship presentation, staying up through the night to memorise our script in 2011. I'll never forget how you guys brought me for fish spa on my birthday which scares the shit outta me. THANKS AH. I'll never forget how we drank so crazily together and made me vomit out all my duck pizza. I'll never forget how we make it a point to remember and celebrate each and every one of our birthdays throughout these three years. I thank god for you guys in my life and I hope we'll remain strong as one & don't forget our grad trip together!
*Your favourite picture*
(^) Secondary sch clique: Time really flies. We've all have known each other for at least 8 years already, from sec 1 till now. What happened to us? I can feel the distance between us. Lesser and lesser of us turn up for outings and meet ups. We were so much closer in the past. Nonetheless, I'm thankful that we're still able to meet up all together, at least once or twice in 2011. I hope we'll never lose contact with one another. You all promised to invite me to all your weddings before:)
As much as I hate 2011, it has also made me experience a lot of new things:)
First time going to clubs. First time dancing on the dancefloor. First time drinking till I got drunk. Looking back, I really enjoyed all the time spent on partying but then again, one of my 2012 resolution is to quit going to clubs. Very ironic, hahaha.
First time dyeing my hair. No more virgin hair.
*Sorry, I look very retarded here*
AND NOT FORGETTING. First time extracting my tooth :'(. SPL accompanied me there. I still remember how I felt when im about to extract my tooth. My whole body was trembling like a siao and im so afraid I would cry out in front of the dentist. It was also my first time putting on braces. No, it doesn't slim me down. Braces aren't pain at all, I can still eat like a boss weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I really hate 2011. I lost so many things. :'(
Every year, I wish for the next upcoming year to be a better one. Now, I'll just do the same and hope 2012 will be better for me:)
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
I'm not okay
IT'S A SAD SAD SUVINI hate it when I have the feeling that I’m about to cry. When I feel my tears welling up, and my face gets flushed. I hate it even more when I have to hide my emotions just because I don't wish to explain myself to people, just because I want them to not worry about me. I'm tired of hearing those "Are you okay?", "Cheer up" etc because I always have to lie and say "Yes I'm okay!", "Yes, I'll cheer up!" when deep down I'm so not okay. I want to be okay I wish to be okay I hope to be okay I am trying to be okay but still I am not okay because I dont know how to be okay. But nevermind because its okay not to be okay. It's been so long since I had a good cry and I look even worst than shit now with muffin eyes and reindeer nose.
People always say expectations lead to disappointments. Oh so when you don't expect, you won't be disappointed. They always say to be prepared for the worst so when the worst happens, you will get less disappointed, less hurt. CRAP. In fact, when the worst happens, you are not gonna get hurt any lesser or whatsoever. It just make you worst. Because inside of you, you're still holding onto the little inch of hope that eveything will turn out the way you wanted it to be.
BUT IT DIDN'T.
So you just gotta accept it and get over it. Pick yourself up and try even harder the next time. That's life. I (act as if) don't care if people look down on me, mock at me or whatsoever, although its still haunt me when I know people are constantly judging me. I'm just disappointed in myself and I hate it when I feel this way because I feel like punching myself but I dare not to. Life just sucks like that. No one said life is going to be perfect. I've came to a conclusion that studies is not my forte so instead of wasting my talents I should just consider being a construction worker, learn how to build a bridge and then build it to get over shits in life.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Can somebody tell me what's my purpose of life right now?
I feel like taking up driving lessons, feel like sleeping whole day long, feel like shopping and spend like I've never, feel like eating & eating a lot of stuff non-stop praying that I won't grow fat like a ball. But come on, this might be/probably is the most fantastic peak period of my life(no school, no books, no troubles) and yet I'm not enjoying it. All that I am doing now is probably sleeping my life away and letting myself rot in front of my lappy, mahjong mahjong mahjong. School's starting in two weeks. Oh no, I'm so gonna start procrastinating so much about school, soon.
Aiyah. I still think my life sucks even though there's no school ley. I still have to face fcuked up people with fcuked up attitudes. In short, their fcuked up faces. Actually I don't give a fcuk. Because, I don't talk to people who are fcuked up, who are two sided.
Politics, why are you everywhere. This is sickening, much.
I don't have a life.
_|_
I feel like taking up driving lessons, feel like sleeping whole day long, feel like shopping and spend like I've never, feel like eating & eating a lot of stuff non-stop praying that I won't grow fat like a ball. But come on, this might be/probably is the most fantastic peak period of my life(no school, no books, no troubles) and yet I'm not enjoying it. All that I am doing now is probably sleeping my life away and letting myself rot in front of my lappy, mahjong mahjong mahjong. School's starting in two weeks. Oh no, I'm so gonna start procrastinating so much about school, soon.
Aiyah. I still think my life sucks even though there's no school ley. I still have to face fcuked up people with fcuked up attitudes. In short, their fcuked up faces. Actually I don't give a fcuk. Because, I don't talk to people who are fcuked up, who are two sided.
Politics, why are you everywhere. This is sickening, much.
I don't have a life.
_|_
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